Xenophobic Regret

The piece I wrote with regret

I can still hear myself shouting, singing,
I can still hear myself sayin’ “ f*ckof, This is not your home”
All I thought was, “we just are threatening them” until………….
Until I saw objects being thrown at him….
Until I saw him being kicked everywhere…
Until I saw blood running out of his nose, ears, eyes, arms, legs
Then reality hit me and I began to realise….........
This is not a threat, but inhumanity

I backed off trying to gather all this ………don’t even know what to call it
I saw him lying down; I saw his eyes wide open, yet closed and crying blood
I heard his voice crying “No please, I’m sorry”
I felt his heart sayin’ “please tell them to stop”
I felt a tear burning my heart and I couldn’t do anything **Or that’s what I thought*

If I stop them, they’ll be on me
They’ll be crucifying me together with him
Now……………now I wish they did, and this regret won’t be there
The guy who use to do my garden, shoes, hair was being killed
If only I........ If only I fought as an African,
If only I stopped the petrol from …… from reaching his African soul,
Then things would be different
I saw the guy next to me making a flame out of a stick
The stick that was thrown to the petrolled African
I saw the flame all over his bruised body, mouth still crying and heart saying
“Please tell them to stop”

I saw his entire family through his flame crying “we loosing our only bread winner
We loosing our dad, we loosing our uncle, we loosing our teacher, we loosing our husband
We loosing our……………………we loosing our black brother

Please someone tell me how to forget this, how
to rewind things, how to bring him to live again
All I want is just to say……………………………I’m sorry
I’m sorry I betrayed you as an African
I’m sorry I was not firm enough to stop it
I’m sorry for being influenced against you
I’m sorry for…………………………………….
I guess it’s too late now.

Written by Deejay's heart with Regret